Riding the Struggle Bus

You’d think spring quarter senior year would be a happy time, right? I mean there’s a lot of stress about finding that elusive job tree where jobs grow. But it’s the last quarter of college, graduation’s around the corner and all of us are happy spending time together and soaking it in. I’d like to say that it’s my reality. But if I said that, I’d be lying.

I’ll be honest: out of the three quarters of senior year, spring quarter has been the toughest. That isn’t to say it’s been a bad quarter, but there are elements of spring quarter that haven’t been what I envisioned. Accepting that has been difficult for me. It’s caused me to be more sensitive and emotional about things. The reality I’ve created in my head is that everyone else has it better. It’s hard to dispel that false reality when I see everyone else have their 50 life-giving commitments to take care of while I’ve had my issues. On somewhat of a whim, I opened my email and went back to a message a good friend sent to me a few weeks ago; she told me she had the following thought:

“I guess even happy people have some hard times too. We are all human. It's just that sometimes people don't talk about it.”

By nature, I’m a very happy-go-lucky person. I love to bring the joy of life to others and to make a positive impact in their lives. That is something that makes me happy and gets me out of bed in the morning. But let me admit that while I’m a happy person, there are times when I am going through a hard time. One of these times is right now, as I write this. I’ve had an emotionally draining day and am trying to dig myself out of the emotional hole I’ve fallen in today. Just because I’m a happy person doesn’t mean I’m happy and life is good 24-7-365. It’s part of human nature to struggle and I’ve had more moments than usual like that this spring quarter.

Going back to my friend’s thought, I’d like to share what she said next:

“Thank you, Joe for always sharing who you are, even when it's not always easy!”

This gets to the core as to why I’m writing this blog post. I remember hearing this insight once that stuck with me: at our core, what we want as humans is to be gotten. I want you to understand that despite my happy nature, I go through hard times too. We all do. It’s easy for me to forget that fact of life when I’m seeing many of my friends dive into their commitments and I feel like I’ve got less going on. But it’s also about finding ways to dispel that false reality that “everyone else has it better”.

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that if you’re struggling, please know that I’m perfectly capable of struggling too. I don’t want you to feel like whenever you’re going through a hard time that you’re the only one who’s struggling while everyone else is living up life. I promise you that whenever you’re going through a hard time, someone else is too. Feeling like the only one on the struggle bus is something that I’ve felt again and again. Maybe later tonight I’ll have that feeling again. But when you’re going through a hard time, I promise you you’re not the only one.

I want to put myself out there to help someone else out. Other people have helped me recognize that I have a gift of sharing myself authentically, even when it’s not easy. So this is me activating it and doing my best to harness it.

To all those on the struggle bus: you’re not the only one who’s riding it; I mean case in point, I’m riding it right now. I can guarantee you that everyone has ridden it at least once in their lives, even if people don’t admit it straight up. Despite my happy nature, my life isn’t all bunnies and rainbows; no one’s life is all bunnies and rainbows. That’s what makes us human and that is what makes us alike. There are always other people riding the struggle bus at the same time you are; you’re never alone when you’re riding it. Guaranteed.