Discovering a Gift and Accepting It

There are typically three questions that come up in CLC meetings all the time: What are my passions? What are my gifts? And what does the world need from me? This blog post is going to focus on that second question, or an experience I’ve been having moreso of discovering that a gift of mine is actually a gift in itself.

Over the past four years, I’ve developed myself to be a very reach-out person. Part of that is a function of being a huge extrovert (at least according to Myers-Briggs, which scored me a 30/30 on the extrovert scale). But expanding upon that, something that gives me joy and gets me out of bed in the morning is making someone’s day. Making someone feel loved and giving them the reminder that, yes, they have gifts that make them the amazing person they are. I have a coffee cup album going where I get someone else’s name on my coffee cup (think Starbucks typically) and use that as a way to reflect upon how that person has had a positive influence on me. That doubles as an affirmation of that person as well.

During last summer, a couple of very good friends and I were having a discussion in the car on the way back from 10 PM mass in Berkeley. I don’t remember how it got there, but the discussion centered on a birthday celebration for one of them I helped coordinate the previous week. What they both told me was something no one had told me before: they were amazed at how I was able to bring people together. While some of the friends at the celebration were expected, they were really surprised at some of the others I had been able to contact and bring together (with some help from other people obviously). I appreciated the acknowledgement but when at that time, I didn’t really think too much of the ability to bring people together for a common expression of birthday love. There were two experiences within the past year that started showing me how much of a gift that was.

The first occurred at the end of fall quarter. Another really good friend of mine was going to reach the first anniversary of a really important yet emotional day. I had a greater opportunity to bond with that friend during fall quarter. There was one night a few days before where I felt spurred to compile a card together showing how much her friends had known about that day and wanted to express our love and support for her. After a bunch of emails and group texts, I had compiled a whole lot of messages to give to her to open on that important day. That following day she blogged about that outpouring of love and how much it meant to her. Helping to coordinate that had a positive effect on her. It was a way for me to use my gift of bringing people together to make an important day that much more special for her.

 

The second happened just recently actually. A really close friend of mine had her birthday coming up. I decided that leading up to it that my intention for her birthday was to think of a way to bring as many people that she had positively affected together. How to do this: a giant birthday card of course. After a huge mass email, carrying around a seemingly unsuspicious green posterboard, and meeting a bunch of people, a 22 x 28 posterboard was full to the brim with birthday wishes. All that was left to do was to deliver the card, intentionally while my friend was out of the room. She did figure out it was me that helped organize it but to hear that she was grateful for it felt really good. Like my previous friend’s experience, she felt loved and ultimately, that was what I was hoping for.

What I’ve learned from these experiences is that I have a gift for being able to bring people together, even people who don’t necessarily know each other. I don’t say this to brag (because even as I’m writing this I’m a little self-conscious about that) but moreso to recognize this area that I’m strong at and can use to make a difference in people’s lives. Bringing it back, I am really passionate about making sure others feel loved. One way I’ve learned I can do that is bringing the people that also love them together for one big, old expression of love. It’s important for me to think about the time and place about whether something like that is appropriate for certain people at certain times, but acknowledging and taking possession of my “bringing people together” gift is what I’ve slowly begun to do over the past few months. Knowing and accepting that gift, while making sure to be thoughtful and intentional about when to utilize it, can only help amplify its intended effect to help people feel loved.

College & Cupcakes? Yes please!

Currently I’m in the middle of typing up parts for a draft of the Senior Design Thesis due on Thursday. Naturally I’m going to get easily distracted and Facebook typically is one of my modes of distracting myself, for better or for worse. After some random clicking, I stumbled upon this blog called “College & Cupcakes” written by someone I know at Santa Clara. In my state of distraction, I read and read and found some really awesome stuff. I’ll link to it at the end for reference because you should really check it out. Especially if you’re an aspiring baker. J

Now I haven’t read all of the blog (I only got through the first 3 pages) but even then I wanted take some time to read it today. There are some really cool insights I read. I was invited into the experiences this person described. I could put myself in their shoes. I feel a greater appreciation for this person now that I’ve had a chance to see a different side of her. She already is a great person in-person but seeing this side of her through her blog just opens up a new side of her to me. And I feel so much better for having the opportunity to see this side. This was a random occurrence which was very fulfilling by virtue of stumbling upon her blog.

This actually reminds me of why I was encouraged to start my own blog by one of my own friends. He said that I had many insights that people could get a lot out of. Theoretically speaking, someone could stumble upon my blog and get something out of what I write. That’s exactly what happened with stumbling upon this friend’s blog, and I’m so much better for it.

So let me conclude by saying I am thankful for the writer of the College & Cupcakes blog for the insights into this person that I have received and for giving me a reminder of why I started my own blog in the first place. J

I invite you to read her blog for wonderful insights and baking recipes. If you're so inclined to accept my invitation, here’s the link: https://collegeandcupcakes.wordpress.com/

Riding the Struggle Bus

You’d think spring quarter senior year would be a happy time, right? I mean there’s a lot of stress about finding that elusive job tree where jobs grow. But it’s the last quarter of college, graduation’s around the corner and all of us are happy spending time together and soaking it in. I’d like to say that it’s my reality. But if I said that, I’d be lying.

I’ll be honest: out of the three quarters of senior year, spring quarter has been the toughest. That isn’t to say it’s been a bad quarter, but there are elements of spring quarter that haven’t been what I envisioned. Accepting that has been difficult for me. It’s caused me to be more sensitive and emotional about things. The reality I’ve created in my head is that everyone else has it better. It’s hard to dispel that false reality when I see everyone else have their 50 life-giving commitments to take care of while I’ve had my issues. On somewhat of a whim, I opened my email and went back to a message a good friend sent to me a few weeks ago; she told me she had the following thought:

“I guess even happy people have some hard times too. We are all human. It's just that sometimes people don't talk about it.”

By nature, I’m a very happy-go-lucky person. I love to bring the joy of life to others and to make a positive impact in their lives. That is something that makes me happy and gets me out of bed in the morning. But let me admit that while I’m a happy person, there are times when I am going through a hard time. One of these times is right now, as I write this. I’ve had an emotionally draining day and am trying to dig myself out of the emotional hole I’ve fallen in today. Just because I’m a happy person doesn’t mean I’m happy and life is good 24-7-365. It’s part of human nature to struggle and I’ve had more moments than usual like that this spring quarter.

Going back to my friend’s thought, I’d like to share what she said next:

“Thank you, Joe for always sharing who you are, even when it's not always easy!”

This gets to the core as to why I’m writing this blog post. I remember hearing this insight once that stuck with me: at our core, what we want as humans is to be gotten. I want you to understand that despite my happy nature, I go through hard times too. We all do. It’s easy for me to forget that fact of life when I’m seeing many of my friends dive into their commitments and I feel like I’ve got less going on. But it’s also about finding ways to dispel that false reality that “everyone else has it better”.

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that if you’re struggling, please know that I’m perfectly capable of struggling too. I don’t want you to feel like whenever you’re going through a hard time that you’re the only one who’s struggling while everyone else is living up life. I promise you that whenever you’re going through a hard time, someone else is too. Feeling like the only one on the struggle bus is something that I’ve felt again and again. Maybe later tonight I’ll have that feeling again. But when you’re going through a hard time, I promise you you’re not the only one.

I want to put myself out there to help someone else out. Other people have helped me recognize that I have a gift of sharing myself authentically, even when it’s not easy. So this is me activating it and doing my best to harness it.

To all those on the struggle bus: you’re not the only one who’s riding it; I mean case in point, I’m riding it right now. I can guarantee you that everyone has ridden it at least once in their lives, even if people don’t admit it straight up. Despite my happy nature, my life isn’t all bunnies and rainbows; no one’s life is all bunnies and rainbows. That’s what makes us human and that is what makes us alike. There are always other people riding the struggle bus at the same time you are; you’re never alone when you’re riding it. Guaranteed.