The Self-Comparison Problem

I’ve always had a problem with comparing myself to others. For me, it’s difficult not to. To give an example, I’ll look at a mutual friend and think that their other friend got to do “XYZ” with mutual friend while I only got to do “X”. I’ll look around a group of people who will look happy and I’ll think to myself, “Everyone’s so happy and I’m here with my own set of problems. I’m just dragging the mood down”. 

I’ll compare experiences with other people too, and this one has more layers. For example, when talking about weekends and hearing about another friend’s experience, I’ll explain I did “A” except whatever they did (regardless of what it is) sounds like “ABCDEFG” in my head. Their weekend sounds so much more fun than mine. Or worse, if it’s the same type of experience (albeit in different times) that I and another person have, I’ll start thinking how the other person’s experience was so much better, so much more fun, and that I missed out. And I’ll be prone to being subtly obnoxious (oxymoronic as it sounds) and trying to interject myself into a conversation other people are having about their shared said experience with my own tidbits to try to block out that “theirs was so much better” feeling.

“People have got it better than me. They have more fun. They get to do more. Their lives are so much more interesting.” The things that run through my head…

It’s a really self-destructive mindset that burns me. I often put myself down compared to others because I think they have all the fun. By virtue of being “not me”, whatever others do is better. That’s what this mindset tells me at least. Thing is, I know that's completely ridiculous, but my mind can think that way anyway.

I guess it’s a good time for me to blog about this because my Lenten goal is to try to phase out the “self-depreciating” part of my nature. I want to stop comparing myself to others. I want to have a greater appreciation of my own self-worth while balancing that with having an appreciation for others. If I can stop comparing myself to others, I’ll take a giant step towards that goal. It’s definitely something to strive for.