Reminders...

The first part of post-graduation life is rather interesting. After 4 years of being surrounded constantly by the same people, many of whom you got to know and bond with, you’re no longer physically surrounded by them. It’s not a bad thing per se but it’s certainly different. Something one of my good friends told me during this stage of post-graduation transition was rather interesting. They told me how sometimes the last 4 years were like a dream and that they were alone. It wasn’t real and something reminded them that the “dream notion” was a false reality and there was so much to look forward to for the future.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the notion of reminders. One of my friends gave a reflection on this a fall quarter, when he said that sometimes all we need reminders. These come in all forms: reminders to do certain tasks, reminders that I’m meeting people or talking with them, or reminders that you’re loved just the way you are. I always felt bad when needing reminders primarily on the last part. For example, I was a “CP” person for CLC leaders this year (someone who externally supports small group leaders as needed). I was looking back through my text messages with one of these leaders and didn’t realize how down on myself I was, making comments like “Sorry if I’ve been crappy on the CP front”, to which this person told me to not even say that and that I was a great CP person. Reminder came in handy. Other important reminders come in the form of little messages and letters people give me. I go back to them to remind myself that despite my faults, I am loved for who I am. It helps me put myself back in the place and to dispel false realities that I’m a “bad” person just because I make one mistake or that I’m not “as good” as others or something.

One of the biggest things that serve a reminder for me are photos. I’m pretty sure I got this from one of my mentors, but especially during my last two quarters of college, I became really intentional about taking photos to document the time I spend with people, provided they’re comfortable with it (going off the reminder theme, making sure to be and respect where people are at). Every few days, I go back and view those photos and it reminds me of the joy I felt when I had that time with that person/those people.  Whether it’s as small as a coffee date or dinner, or as big as a birthday concert/big group gathering, every moment is precious and it’s my way of documenting that experience as a reminder. Now I concede that for some people, taking photos could take away from moments. But I’ve learned for me, it’s a fulfilling reminder of joy and good times had.

For the past year at my internship, I have had a “friends photo wall” going on the shelf above my computer. While I couldn’t ever fit all of my friends on it (too little room), looking up at it for brief moments gives me instant reminders of friendship and experiences. In the sometimes stressful and fast-paced work world, it’s healthy for me to look up and give myself a reason to smile. And it always grows as new experiences add up, so the amount of reminders only goes up.

At the same time, there are also moments that live on within me even without photos. For example, the experience of spending graduation night laying out on blankets in the Mission Gardens with a bunch of the most amazing people you can think of lives on fresh in my memory.  I don’t have a photo of that but it’s still something I will remember for a very long time. It was an experience that where I truly felt “alive” and gave me a lot of fitting closure on my time at Santa Clara. Photos aren’t a be-all, end-all for me, but in most cases, they serve as wonderful reminders of the times I spend with other people.

I know for myself I need lots of reminders of various things in my life. Photos are one of my biggest reminders of life, but I’m just one person. Different reminders work for different people but if there’s something I believe, it’s that reminders are just a part of everyday life.